Intimacy

I am in my mid-fifties and have never had a serious or significant love relationship. Wanting a serious relationship with a woman is what I’ve wanted my entire life. I’ve always wondered “what’s wrong with me”. I’ve spent lots of years improving my self-esteem and learning to like myself. I just don’t want to end up “old and alone. Any advice on what else I can do besides wishing I were just someone else? – That is Not My Name

Dear That, It’s wonderful that you are searching for a special romantic relationship with a significant other. Most of us – at any age – would like to share our life with someone we form a loving bond with, someone we value and someone who values us. For this to happen, you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself and…

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Career Advice

I am a recent immigrant from Beijing, studying at a local university in Toronto. I have a Master’s degree from back home, but feel very inadequate in Canada. The problem is my English instructor continuously gives me low grades, with feedback that he cannot understand my writing. He says that I must realize that education standards in Canada are much higher than they are in China. I think he is racist. I need to pass this course. What can I do? – Student in Angst

Dear Student, Congratulations on earning a Master’s degree. Your achievement is a result of your hard work and belief in yourself. The one setback of education is that it sometimes clouds our ability to be open to criticism from others, limiting our overall perception of situations and people. Though your instructor could have been more empathic to your concerns, labeling…

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Career Advice

It’s been 18 months since I graduated with a degree in Geography. But I can’t find a job in my field! I’ve applied to hundreds of jobs and been to countless interviews but I never get the gig. I’m tired of my minimum wage part time job at a fast food restaurant. I’m so disappointed! I didn’t get any of the skills that employers ask for in university. What do I do? Should I go back to school and specialize in something? I just want my career to start already. – Why can’t I find a job?

Dear Why, As we experience the trials of university life, one of the key motivators we have is that once we’re handed this piece of paper, the world will be our oyster – we’ll get the job we’ve always dreamed of, we’ll be paid what we think we’re worth, and we’ll start establishing our career. These expectations are natural. Natural…

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Relationships

I’m a 30-year-old woman in a relationship since 2008. I love him very much but lately I feel like we’re losing each other. We haven’t had sex in months! I don’t want us to wait too long to do something about this just to be nice and avoid hurting each other. How do I bring back the excitement into our relationship and light the fire again because it used to be amazing? Please help me because I don’t want to lose my best friend. – Spark is Fading

Dear Spark, Many couples feel that after years together their relationship is not as passionate. You are not alone. Some couples may not feel as appreciated by their partner or may even feel neglected. More often than not, resentment starts to build and couples begin to criticize even the smallest oversights of their partner, which threatens their friendship. What leads…

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Career Advice

I am 18 and looking for a career in counselling or psychology. Not sure which program to choose or which way to proceed. I’m from India and will graduate from high school this April. I want to know options in Canada in the field of counselling or neuro-psychology/behavior psychology program. Can you provide some assistance in the finding the best program? – New to Canada

Dear New, Yes, the road to becoming a counsellor may seem confusing and even daunting. It was for me as well, when I started my program over 27 years ago. I had many questions: Should I specialize or generalize? Should I treat adults (men, women, or both?), children, or families? Which approach or modality would I prefer, or be good…

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Family

I am a single mother, trying to raise my daughter with religious principles and values. It’s why I was shocked when I caught my four-year-old daughter playing with her genitals in the living room during a party at my house. I immediately chastised her in front of my guests and sent her to her room. I’m now feeling guilty for the way I reacted. Could I have done something else, and how can I fix this mess? – Motherhood Challenges

Dear Motherhood, As a therapist, I’m wondering what is the real issue here – do you have an issue with your daughter “playing with her genitals,” or do you have a problem with the fact that others saw her doing this? First of all, all children go through a time when they are curious about which parts of their body…

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