Intimacy

I’m 64, and my partner is 57. She’s Chinese, and I’m European. We’re not married, but we’ve been together for 8 years. We were quite adventurous, sexually, during our first 5 years together. But after my partner went through menopause, she seems to have lost interest in sex and started to say no to most of my requests in bed. Our love life became increasingly sporadic and, to be honest, somewhat boring to me (and probably to her too). For over a year now, we’ve had no sex at all. There’s deep friendship and affection between us, but I see no way to rekindle any passion. Trouble is, I miss having sex and have even visited escorts on occasion. I’ve also noticed signs of interest from several older ladies I’d find quite desirable. But I just can’t stand drama and conflict and don’t want to get emotionally entangled with anyone else, unless I first make a clear break with my partner. The idea breaking up with her—and cutting loose from my emotional moorings at 64—causes me a lot of guilt and anxiety. What do you advise? – At A Crossroads

Dear At A Crossroads, It’s wonderful that after 8 years in your romantic relationship (or perhaps because of it) you and your partner have a deep friendship and affection for each other. In most successful relationships I’ve seen, it’s the mutual love and respect in couples that gives rise to a deep level of understanding between the individuals. It appears…

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Family

I love my daughter but she’s almost 40 and we’re still supporting her. We pay for her car, her rent, her groceries. She has a job but spends her money on trips and going out. We tried cutting her off a few years ago and she cut us out of her life. My wife couldn’t take it and once again we started supporting her again. She’s our only daughter. I want to keep her in my life but also want her to be independent. Please help. – Torn Dad

Dear Torn, It is obvious to me that you have a spoiled daughter, one who has been using you and your wife, without regard or empathy for what you both must be going through. For the sake of building any type of relationship with your daughter, this ‘support,’ and what it has mutated into, must stop. I’d like you to…

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Relationships

I thought I’d found “the one”. It was a long-distance relationship but we were in love and got married – he was my soulmate. It broke my heart when he couldn’t move to Canada, and we had to breakup. I’m seeing someone else now but I don’t believe in soulmates anymore. My friends think it’s wrong for me to be in a relationship when I think there’s someone better for me. I just want to happy. Please help. – Soulmates Aren’t Real

Dear Soulmates, You are fortunate to have fallen in love and married (albeit, for a shorter time than you wanted) a person you considered as your “soulmate.” I’m sure you have sweet memories of your times together with your ex. Cherish these memories, but realize that life goes on and so must you. For you to move forward, you should…

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Family

I’ve been with my husband for 12 years (married for 5) and we had our first kid a year ago. His family always interfered in our lives to the point where I had to take our baby and leave. It hurt when my husband didn’t try to stop me. Now he says he wants to make it work but he hasn’t seen our child in months and missed his birthday. I want to make it work but I have to do what’s best for my son. Should I continue to try or move on? – Conflicted Mother

Dear Conflicted, It seems that when a woman gives birth, everyone she knows, including her friends, her family members, and, most especially, her in-laws want to give child-rearing advice – everything from how to feed the baby and when to bathe it to what to do when the baby feels overwhelmed and unsafe. Regardless, it is the parents’ obligation to…

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Ethnic Diversity

I am new to Canada and I love this country, but I’m struggling. It’s really hard to build a social network from the ground up. I think Canadians are so nice, but I feel very lost and miss my home country. I found a part-time job at a retail store and am starting school in September. Do you have any advice for making friends, and coping with the loneliness that I’m feeling? – Lonely Immigrant

Dear Lonely, Welcome to Canada! It’s heartwarming to learn that you love this country. It’s because of immigrants just like you, who form a bond with and have affection for Canada, that this country has become the multicultural mecca that it is. It’s true that relocating to a new country, and settling in it, is scary at times. This change…

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Relationships

After dating my boyfriend for about 4 months, he wanted me to meet his parents. I’m not religious but his dad is a pastor, which made me super nervous. Needless to say, it didn’t go well and they told him I’m not a girl of quality!! Ouch. My boyfriend says he doesn’t care what they think and it’s a non-issue, but this is a huge problem for me. What should my next move be? – Girl of Quality

Dear Girl, Meeting a partner’s parents for the first time is no doubt nerve-wracking for the best of us. I mean, seeking approval from a partner’s parents is important and it is true that getting this approval usually results in a much closer romantic relationship. But what if approval is not given, as in your case? First of all, your…

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