clueless
intimacy
Intimacy

My wife and I have been married for over 24 years, and she has never performed oral sex on me. She knows that I would enjoy it but has always said she is shy to try. Now that our 25th wedding anniversary is around the corner, she wants to give me oral sex as my present. I’m so excited at the very thought of this! How can I help her be comfortable with this? –I’m so excited

Dear I’m so excited, Congratulations on your upcoming 25th wedding anniversary! I think it’s wonderful that after all these years your wife is still thinking of your needs and is now willing to give you this special gift. It is important that she, without any pressure from you, is the one who wants to learn more about cunnilingus. Besides the…

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alone
Self

My ex-wife left me in July. We had an arranged wedding last February in India. She was good for the first two months when we were together, then I left for Canada to resume my job. But when she came to Canada through spousal sponsorship, her behaviour changed and she always found reasons to leave and never made me a priority. I cannot get over her, what should I do? -Stressed out boy

Dear Stressed out boy, Your story is not a mere boy meets girl, boy loses girl, boy finds girl and lives happily ever after. If it was as simple as this, I could suggest ways for you to help your partner assimilate better into Canadian culture and tools for you to build a more loving and trusting bond with her.…

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Last year, I cheated on my husband and he found out.
sex-picious
My fiancé and I are both in our early thirties. I am Christian and he is Hindu.
Relationships

My fiancé and I are both in our early thirties. I am Christian and he is Hindu. He is the man of my dreams, and we plan to marry in two months. While some people believe that ‘love conquers all,’ I wonder how I will know, before we get married, if he will make the best husband for me. Is it possible to get counselling before getting married? – Seeking Compatibility

Dear Seeking Compatibility, Congratulations on falling in love with the “man of [your] dreams!” While love is many times the glue that binds partners, there are other considerations to a successful marriage – things that you should discuss before the proverbial ‘I dos.’ What you are asking about is referred to as pre-marital counselling. In this type of therapy, partners…

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Family

My husband and I are newly married and we share all of our money. This is new to both of us and even though we discussed it before getting married, issues keep arising. I like to spoil myself every now and then by getting my nails done, treating myself to a dinner, or getting a massage. I don’t do these things too often, but I work hard and like to unwind. He says he doesn’t do the equivalent so it’s not really fair. How can we work this out? – It’s my money too

Dear It’s, Congratulations on your recent marriage! Marriage is a sharing of many things, including, but not limited to, time spent together, living space, and, of course, finances – all of which, when agreed upon, build trust between the partners. Over the course of a marriage, however, this trust is tested. Some couples, for example, may face a partner’s infidelity,…

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Workplace

My boss makes sexual remarks in the office. They are not directed at me or any employee but he objectifies female bodies. Yesterday, he was talking about how hot one of our client’s is and it made me uncomfortable. I don’t know how to convey my feelings about this to him without hurting my job security. I am pretty sure, if I say something, he’ll fire me and I can’t afford to lose my job right now. What should I do? – Hate My Boss

Dear Hate, The days of accepting female sexual objectification at work or in society, in general, is long gone. Aside from certain world leaders (who shall remain unnamed) who believe they are above social diplomacy and the law, living in the 21st century and in Metro Vancouver, we know that bosses making sexual remarks at the office is unethical and…

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Dear Dr. Faizal
Relationships

I love my husband and he loves me too. I know that. But he has a habit of making sexist jokes about women and I don’t like that at all. Yesterday, we saw a well-dressed older woman and he said, “Oh! She’s a hot oldie!” I have confronted him on this on many occasions that this needs to stop. How can I make him realize that it’s wrong?? – Angry Wife

Dear Angry, I believe that any form of discrimination – whether it be racism, sexism, ageism, etc. – is wrong and should not be tolerated, regardless of whether or not you love the person who is violating this very basic social rule. The example you shared of your husband’s comment – “She’s a hot oldie” – demonstrates both ageism and…

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